19 August 2018 I’ve dropped the ball, and I don’t know where it has rolled off to. Or maybe it wasn’t even a ball. Was it a strand of hair? I have collected random treasures because I like them. And when I get lost or confused I sit down and put them in front of me. I like to look. There is pleasure in the aesthetic. I can enjoy just the act of looking, but I know that’s not all that there is. I can employ the cognitive function of evaluation. The importance of the relationship between aesthetic value and functionality. But I am alive. I am sentient. I am intelligent. I am aware. My ability to process the world around me can also be used to understand the processes within me. And I am more than organic matter and electrical synapses. I’m not just my physical body. I’m more than a brain. I’m more than the neutral pathways and chemical balances of the brain. I know how to learn, and I know how to synthesize information into new and different contexts. I can backyard backwards engineer we way through most things. Not a problem. Easy. I fix things. People. Whatever. What do they need? I can either be the service or direct them to where to find the answer. The more I do, the less i get to just… enjoy, not doing. Because in those moments of quiet and stillness, i find clarity. The longer i spend with others for others, the harder it is to come back… it’s harder to “quiet the voices”. Like a computer my shut down procedures are much longer and harder… and the same with the start up… my RAM is used up. And I fritz. If you get lost again, read this post. Reread it until you remember. I have to go away now but remember from here. This point. This post. I hope it helps you remember.