I am garbage androgen, alkimysterium.

Fly off out of this place, send me up up and away. I need to study the stars not from afar but from inside their core – burn me alive.

Incinerate ash my flesh. Incendiary, float away. Why can’t I be someone else, it’s the same old stories over and over again.

Kokabiel of the stars, study the skies. When you look down I see you eyes. I’m in them, twinkling. Please, snuff my light.

I don’t like what I see when I am seen.

I pray for the day when I lose my self. Not in my hea(rt)d, but away from earth. There’s no one else who could replace me, no one who could act as a stand in. This isn’t glory, it is pandemonium.

A pantomime. Matinee reconnaissance. Broken baroque, modern renaissance. Post modernity in memorandum. That’s the impressionist I am.

I drew cards for myself, to help me realise who I am to be. Who I am, who I was, what I am, what I am to be.

(Cards drawn at beginning of the week… I didn’t think it mattered to share them with you… but here I am, 3 days later. Because it feels like it does matter, somehow..?)

For I could be anything I want to be. I can do seemingly anything I attempt to achieve. I just want to be me. Free from others judgements and perceptions unknowingly placed upon me.

I just do what I do. I just have to exist. And then there are expectations and responsibilities I am to satisfy – with or without my knowledge.

I am going to redirect the intentions of my weblogs. My trajectory directions are circumspect, they are circular. But this dimensional reality is linear and as such I must present myself with clear beginnings and endings.

There is no clear distinction when it comes to me. The only beginnings and ends I know are of birth and death.

Thus, the only thing I can tell you of me are the circumstances of my birth. ASTROLOGY, NAME, NUMEROLOGY. Understanding, sensation, conceptual comprehension.

The only end I can foresee (and often cry out for to take me home and away) is that of apocalyptic endings. PROPHESY, POETRY, PREPOSITIONS. Linguistics, rhetoric, mathematical probability predictions.

Thus the foundations of my idealised educational system, the legacy I desire to build in the present and leave behind me. Trivium & quadrivium = 7 liberal arts, basic education. Philosophy and metaphysics, injected with quintessential kimberlite … KAIROS.

Kimiya Lane. Kalliope Veign. Life path 5, soul urge 3, expression 8, destiny 11.

I am the el-kimiya. Al-kimycal. The original Alchemystic. Cleopatra the alchemist.

12 thoughts on “I am garbage androgen, alkimysterium.

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