Rearrange the Denouement

Biffy Clyro – Rearrange

I’ve got a lot of love and I’ve got a lot of ways to show it / But you should know by now that I’m broken and I need your help / I wrote a hundred songs to make sense of the meaningless / I’ll un-write them all if you help me clear up this mess

Cause I would never break your heart / I would only re-arrange / All the other working parts will stay in place / Listen to me when I say, darling you’re my everything / I didn’t mean to hesitate, please stay with me

I’ve got a lot of rage and I’m struggling with ways to control it / When I wake in the morning I’ve forgotten what it is to cope / I scratch at my eyes and it renders me visionless / Even in the dark, what I want isn’t what I need

I will always get it wrong. No matter what I do, I’ll always let you down. Even when I try, it’s all just lies because that’s what you’ve already decided.

I don’t want to come back down from this cloud. But I will jump and free fall, nose dive into the brick wall. The ground will catch me, and my soul to release.

Breakfast in the morning, crack some eggs into the pan. Sizzle and fry my mind with electrodes. Coagula, my blood is thickening with glucose. I can’t live my life questioning everything, my motives and my appearance, the way I see and how you see me.

Let go, there’s no such thing as life and love. I was blinded by the light, thinking it was hope coming back for me. I was faith, I am faithless. Don’t believe anything from me. The light of the world saw me and even he turned away.

You finally found a reason to let me go, let loose. You stand and look around, amazed at the world and it’s essence. I was a noxious cloud that poisoned your existence.

If only I could breathe you in. The breath of life. But I have no lungs, I’m dead and hollow inside. I am a mechanical machine, an automated biometalic woman. A demon of death that lured you in with a seductive dance.

I will sing myself to sleep. I am alone and always was. You finally saw my true face, and so you now hate everything I try to change… You question the good I try to be.

Probably because I was always bad and you never believed. I wanted to be good, like the lie you saw that was me. I wanted to believe your truth, that maybe I was something that could be beautiful and good. Maybe.

I’m sinking in the sand, drowning in the hour glass. There’s nothing real to hold me here. I only wanted to (offer/receive) help.

I hate that I ever wanted or needed. I hate that I ever thought I could be.

Anything other than the shit I always was. This is all there is to life. And it is hell.

I will try. To succeed. To fulfill the thing I always failed to achieve.

I will try. And I will smile. Maybe, one day, I could pretend that I (ever? once? not?) made you happy.

I take my bow. Curtains fall, the veil is closed. See no more, leave life else.

Enoch knock. Whose, there? The Grin Reaper. Reaping whom? Roping dreams with you’re nous.

If you leave me now, you’ll survive and live the best life. That’s the test of your soul. Can you finally put yourself first? Don’t be the heroic white knight in shining armour. War and battle and real life is not like that.

This is life, and it is ugly. And nothing is ever what it seems. You are not even you, you are pretending to be you while you observe your reactions to the random permutations in this simulacrum silicon simulation atrium.

Wake up. I’m ready to tap out.

On the count of my pulse, I will bleed out.

2 thoughts on “Rearrange the Denouement

    • Kalliope says:

      It’s pretty heart breaking. And I dunno. Hurts. But just gotta… keep going on. If I stop then I might just break apart and die. Hah. That’ll be the day I’ll have to finally admit I’m not immortal. Just… fucking immoral apparently.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.