The state of water is dependent upon the environment it exists. So I could be an ice queen, or steamy. I try to be more mindful of myself, my words, my actions because I do understand their power and influence. I tend to act a mirror with people, and when I may be trying to do something (particularly although not exclusively with my writing, as that memorialises words), the ones I am closest to can think I am being mocking or derisive.
I love and I try my best, but I see every hesitation or hear every tonal inflection with such sensitivity… If I do not address it, then I am being wilfully ignorant. If I do react, then I am mocking or melodramatic.
I try to keep my expressions and self descriptions neutral because I am such at the whim of my sensitivities. I fluctuate between these extreme states of being… my inner chaos is what actually brings me peace, but it disturbs the people around me, that is until they get to know me and accept that I may mean everything I say, I do not always feel that particular way… all things are temporary,
Categories: The Real Deal