LJArchive – Chester’s Powderfinger

13 October 2001 @ 13:40

>> my happiness  

yesterday, i was so joyous. i was overwhelmed with happiness, only to be crushed by night fall.
so all those postings of smiling and laughing… they were all in vain!
i knew it… i fucking knew this would happen… the happier i get, i harder i fall… and i fell yesterday. i fell and cried. i fell, but i didn’t hit rock bottom… i hit a branch and right now, that branch is holding me up.
rock bottom is me being hospitalised and i’m not at hospital. i just cried. now i have to try and start climbing to be happy again…
the branch i fell on for support, who’s stopped me from hitting rock bottom is james… he doesn’t know it, but he’s helped me so much…
so… why do i keep making the same mistakes? i always get happier then fall… get happier then fall harder… get happier then fall harder than before… its just a huge cycle that soon i would keep missing the branches and eventually get stuck in a hospital somewhere talking to my imaginary friends bob, jay, croc, bazza, trinii…
i don’t even know what i’m talking about here! i’m just weird… i’m just crazy… i’m just insane… i’m just… i’m just a girl who’s happiness is always in vain…


Current Mood: blank

Current Music: one step closer – linkin park

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Muse of epic poetry. Mother Metatron. Contemporary teacher of humanity and art.