This is an interesting topic I think about very often, but I haven’t thought about writing a post about it so thank you Kalliope for giving me the idea! Ok, let’s dig in. First of all, I want to mention that this isn’t about taking some particular actions to hurt ourselves. It’s not about auto-flagellating […]
Ok, so I never really thought about our mindsets hurting our physical bodies other than metaphorically… You know, you feel pretty shit, so you don’t particularly feel like moving, which then influences another decision, which then impacts another thingy, and so forth. Essentially I used to think that if I was pretty depressed, then it just made me sleepy and lazy. FAIR ENOUGH, NOTHING NEW.
BUT HERE IS THE NEW THINGY!
Our emotions and mood totally impacts our physiology! AT A HORMONAL BIOCHEMICAL LEVEL. The reason I’m so emphatic about that is because I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes MARCH 2017 and following the bullshit euthanasia-roller-coaster-course of events this year has lead me to discover that my blood glucose levels mirror the rise, fall and plateaus of MY EMOTIONAL STATE OF BEING. I don’t know about you, but my mind is (metaphorically) blown by that.
There’s one hand that says “of course, because your physical health impacts your emotional state of mind. Obviously.”
But on the other hand… I’m not aware of my BGL’s and my chemical im/balances as they are happening in my body. It’s not something I am cognizant of until after the fact. When I scan my Libre sensor and look at the graph, that’s when I notice. That’s how I discovered the direct correlation at all.
Which got me curious about the legitimacy of metaphysical and holistic healing. Prior to this year, divination and metaphysics were just fun things that made me feel better about the banality of the material mundane. So this year I decided to placate that curiosity by just reading a bunch of shit about the spiritual implications of type 1 diabetes; a genuinely open mind to whatever prognosis my metaphysical pseudo-“science” research might dig up.
THIS. IT BROUGHT ME TO THIS. DIABETES – AND THE IMBALANCE OF SWEETNESS IN ONE’S LIFE. (Ravenstarshealingroom’s Blog, a post from October 2009).
I’m not bothering to link other pages, this was the one that ACTUALLY GAVE INFORMATION about it, well to me anyway. Other sites mostly talked about Type 2 diabetes, or just mentioned “love yourself more” rah rah. A bit late for that shit now, aye?
If you couldn’t be fucked clicking and reading, the gist is:
“Diabetes – Fear of fully participating in life. Great need for control and to know things. Deep need for attention and approval. Constant craving for love, with a belief that you are unworthy or undeserving. Deep-seated guilt. Belief you have to struggle to survive. Can often lose yourself in relationships. Constant need for sweetness to mask the feelings of weakness, limitation, and belief that there is not enough”. – THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF YOUR BODY: The Essential Guide to Health and Wellness ~ Inna Segal
(I totally just copied and pasted the first paragraph from that link)
I have basically HATED MYSELF for as long as I can dear sweet remember. I’d fluctuate between happy care-free and fucking self-loathing DIE FUCKING JUST DIE EMOTIONAL DEMONS FROM HELL!!!!!
I’ve been medicated for a number of years, and just as I finally think I’m way beyond the necessity of medication – BAM! Some unforseen fucking freakish thing happens within a month of me coming off my meds. No one better say “self-fulfilling prophecy” or some shit, because no one has control over any & everybody else. Most stuff I’m happy to shoulder the blame, but there really are some things that I CANNOT control. Therefore I have to stop beating myself up over shit that isn’t my fault, EVEN IF I CAN ROUND-ABOUT-BACKDOOR-CONNECT-THE-DOTS make it my fault. *shrugs*
Onward and upward. I’ve got the “antichrist” ship to helm, and as the Queen of Cups (my personal tarot [minor arcana, babe; we both know I’m of the MAJOR league] significator) I’m responsible for a whole bunch of people relying on me (and my narcissistic NAVY BATTLESHIP vestibule of inner strength) as we navigate these tumultuous emotional and psychic waves and seas.
Originally posted 25th October 2018. Reposted (updated images) 30th January 2019.