“There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.” ― Kurt Vonnegut I’m writing these words with the knowledge that people from around the world are going to read them. People of all ages, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, of different religious beliefs. Most of them, I’ll never get a chance to meet. […]
18 January 2019, 7:35am; I have just woken up from an honest to goodnight ACTUAL NIGHT OF SLEEP. I don’t remember what time I went to bed, but I can assure you I slept for probably 9 or so hours. THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME. That is a showcase of ‘normalcy’ from my life pre 2018. The lethargic, streched out, laze about, slothario KAL-ly. Like a great sailing ship on a pristine sea, the beautiful vision of the ocean, the sky and me.
Last night I sent a message to Brain Embryos (using the contact form on their weblog) reaching out to them as an initiatory act of friendship for we both hail from Sydney, Australia. I legit wrote (although my recount of my words is LESS AWESOME in articulation than the original) about desiring to build a little group or some creative, collaborative conglomerate of like-minded content creators; a LOCAL version to connect with in this infinite (and thus infinitely lonely) online global community.
So I know BE is a Sydney-sider. And there is another Sydneyian who I’ve been communicating with through Insta and Email. She’s responsible for the AoS; her name is Esh. We are planning to begin a thing once she finishes her current collaborative project, so it’s looking like we can start working on that as early as February.
If I can convince BrainE to get onboard this pathetic makeshift raft, I truly believe it can turn into a mother-flupping OCEAN LINER. I’m extended the metaphor, in case you’re wondering why all the naughtycal talk. Oh yeah, and I’m spelling stuff incorrectly ON PURPOSE to really screw with people’s minds about my true intentions. Because insinuations and innuendo are products of your mind.
You respond to stimuli that is all around you, everyday. I have often been caught up in some dodgy looking situation because I was just there. I don’t like people feeling lonely or hurt or scared, (fuck, that’s me in my head. But I don’t always feel that way when I feel that I am secure and loved). I have boundary issues and this in turn ends up screwing myself or other people over, somebody ALWAYS GETS HURT around me. Because I lack discipline in constructing and maintaining healthy boundaries. Because I know that I am quintessentially ‘TOO MUCH’. I am extra. I’m not AN extra, I’m a force unto its own.
I say to my students that perfection is attained when there is nothing further to add, and nothing to be taken away. So thereby, I will not go further in this post lest it sullies my initial message, my espoused position…
My (initial) name is K. I’m here to give you all a new perspective to save the world from it’s greatest enemy – us.
I am the force of all that is meta… my form is a trope.
The comment I wrote on Cris’ post (at 7:30am) which then prompted me to just friggen write up here. on my own blog. So you have HIM to thank for all this (gestures around, generally) right here.
Dear Cris, I have just woken up from and actual night’s sleep. And this post is 100% the plight of my soul. What I have been complaining and crying and OMFG SCREAMING about on my blog. I… you know what. I’m going to share this post and write you an open letter.
18 January 2019, 8:30am. I think I’m done. I would have maybe finished a bit sooner but OMFG I accidentally bumped ‘back’ and then thought I lost my post and then was screaming for a few effing minutes about the thing. 5 minutes later I was able to recover my post and it was not lost after all.
I love my new laptop. I just hate technology in generally. LOL