I knew a girl named Rainbow

12 January 2019, 12:22pm; It is a double day anniversary, both revolving around my mama and my daddy! My father was a centaur, and my mother was a satyr. My daddy was an archer, and he shot my mama’s goat.

Ladies! Fellas! Has your feelings been ever effed up? Hell yeah! So let me shake that, I’m here shaking that, are you going to help me shake it? Shake what? Shake your butt off like a polaroid picture. Go on, shake it off. I already cut the strings with my scissors.

You’re standing on your own two feet, mother flugger! CELEBRATORY LAP AND DANCE!


Running wild and free like the wind! And since there’s no head to have a voice, use hand gestures to communicate! Like the magical and super rare faqunicorn! See, what makes the faqunicorn so special and rare even for that species whorse type, is that normal unicorn shit rainbows. The faqunicorn produces rainbows when they hold their head up high, they rise up, and they stampede (or trot, canter, or jump) WITH PRIDE!

There’s nothing more majestic than seeing a magical creature do it’s New Yorker “HEY, I’M WALKIN’ HERE!” display of assertiveness; getting all up in one’s face, making sure everybody knows of their presence.


Thank you, green man Kermit. Your message rings true.

People sing a damn bunch about rainbows, but rainbows are just refracted light passing through water droplets. They’re pretty displays of shimmery coloured lights. They are pretty. And you’ll only see them when it’s wet. Like really wet. When the rain has finished pouring, and the ground it wet all around, but at least it’s no longer sprainkling. And it’s just wet on the ground and up in that skyeye clouds, atmosphere thing.


What even is this rainbow connection? WTF? You mean the bifrost? Shit bitch, don’t tell me that’s what people are looking for? Gosh people really are stupid. We can’t see the effing rainbow connections because the rays of light aren’t separated! The rainbow connection is light, and there is light all around you in the daytime.

Unless you mean the RAINBOW BRIDGE? We’re all trolls under the bifrost, and I don’t really want to cross that thing. I don’t trust it. I’ve seen dogs bound across the thing and I have never seen a single dead dog come back. That’s up in the atmosphere. I breathe just fine down here.

I did know a girl named Rainbow, though. She was a year or two older than me. We were hanging outside in my backyard, sitting on the swing set and talking. She said something about her boobies growing and I was like “Wha? Cool! Can I see?” so she lifted her shirt and showed me her chesticles.

I just stared at them. I didn’t really understand why I was just ogling her mammaries for so long, but after a few minutes she put her shirt back down. I was so confused, like… what about them? Neither flat nor busty, just these flubby half formed bits? Leaving her chest exposed for those few minutes in my memory just now and I’ve already made the rainbow connection.

It’s having a heart to heart.

I should know what I’m talking about, I am the Metatrope after all. I’m Metatron’s muse. LOL he based all his characters and stories off our life together. 


12 January 2019, 5:47pm; Okay dudes and dudettes. I think I have gotten to be a bit too comfortable here on the internet, my inappropriateness is coming to the surface. I purposefully push the boundaries with humour and everything is a joke. Frankie Boyle is basically one of my humour-heroes.

I’m not too comfortable making obscene bigoted jokes just yet because this is the internet and OMFG EVERYONE TAKES ALL THE INTERNET STUFF TOO SERIOUSLY.  I’d like to encourage people to learn to think for themselves as to what is real, what is a joke, what is worth considering or acknowledging.

Heck, I don’t even know if I am being serious half the time. They’re just words and since I’m needy and empty, I’ll go with whatever you say. Am I serious? Am I believable? Would you follow me down the yellow brick road to pay their pied piper on patreon, or join my cult?




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