Dr. Farkenheck & the eternal soundtrack

11 January 2019, 7:13am; Going through my old livejournal account I found a soundtrack listing I put together back in 15 June 2002.

So lo-and-behold I present to you my life’s soundtrack, according to my 15 year old self! (the accompanying video is the song I had listed as what I was listening to at the time I posted this on LJ. lol)

Oh and because I am super lazy I am just copying and pasting the listing but not linking to youtube or lyrics. You can look them up if you are so interested. *shrugs*

01. alanis morissette – so unsexy
02. biffy clyro – iname
03. box car racer – i feel so
04. dave navarro – hungry
05. fenix tx – all my fault
06. fiona apple – paper bag
07. garbage – stupid girl
08. george – special ones
09. ill nino – what comes around
10. jack off jill – when i am queen
11. joydrop – i sometimes wanna die
12. kittie – choke
13. mxpx – destroyed by you
14. nerf herder – sorry
15. nirvana – lithium
16. radiohead – creep
17. smashing pumpkins – zero
18. stabbing westward – perfect
19. the ataris – your boyfriend sucks
20. tony rich project – nobody knows
21. vex red – sleep does nothing for you
22. zao – resistance

song 01. i feel so ugly even though people tell me i’m not. i’ve always known myself to be ugly, and probably will for a long time.
song 02. it keeps saying “i am over you”. and i guess i am. in certain ways. or certainly like trying to convince myself that i am.
song 03. i feel crap.
song 04. the song keeps asking where are certain people. i would like to know where people are in my life.
song 05. everything is my fault. after all the good times, i manage to screw it up.
song 06. key words: daydream of a boy. hunger hurts. starving works. costs too much to love.
song 07. i’m a fake person. i fake who i am and am stupid.
song 08. only the special ones will ever get through to me.
song 09. people around me changing. my feelings for them change. what i do and how i feel towards you.
song 10. i will fuck you up if i could. and i still do. i’d still love to drown myself.
song 11. i sometimes wanna die.
song 12. all my fucked up relationships and finding out that i meant nothing to them in the first place.
song 13. destroyed by you.
song 14. i’m sorry for everything i’ve ever done. seriously.
song 15. i’m screwed all over (physically and mentally), but thats ok… i think…
song 16. i want to be perfect, but i’m just too strange and stupid to ever be. i’m no one special.
song 17. emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness, and cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me.
song 18. why did you break up with me? everything was perfect… but now… *sigh*
song 19. lets just say that i’m the girl in this song. my boyfriends have sucked, but i can’t fall inlove with my best friend…
song 20. i cover up my pain and sorrow infront of my family and school friends. i would say “church friends”, but i don’t have any.
song 21. i’m different to you. and you said you’d help me…
song 22. i can’t let myself dissolve away into emptiness. i won’t let it happen.

whether my interpretations of the song fits yours or not, this is what and how i believe them in relation to me…

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Muse of epic poetry. Mother Metatron. Contemporary teacher of humanity and art.

10 thoughts on “Dr. Farkenheck & the eternal soundtrack

        1. 32! I’m mostly a grunge fan, but lately I’ve been revisiting my industrial and experimental music days. And also branching out listening to these sleepy songs that are sad and apathetic and sway slowly on the spot as dancing.
          I guess.. just trying to discover more music. I sometimes get in a funk just listening to the same songs again. I love them! But I want to hear more. Ya know?

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        2. Glad you liked it. My major jam this month has been Modest Mouse. I haven’t really listen-listened to them in close to a decade (how the decades fly!). Cowboy Dan is the one song I really keep playing over and over.

          Hmm . . . those two were new to me. Both had a lot more auto tune than I’ve heard in years. Not used to it. So not too sure what to think. Joji’s Slow Dancing in the Dark was more interesting than Astrid. Checked out more of his songs, but wasn’t sure it’s what I’m looking for.
          Actually, I’m trying to find something new for my wife this Valentine’s day. Something lovely but not too pop (though she doesn’t mind pop, so a little poppy ain’t bad).

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        3. What’s she more into? Gimme genre or tempo or lyrical themes. I love finding songs for people!!!! Joji’s dancing in the dark is the only one I really like. I did like Astrid’s one but it was something recommended to me. If you have Spotify I have a butt ton of playlists hahahaha it really is getting out of hand though.

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