I’m not hanging up

I’m not going to hang up. But… if I die, then someone will just take my place for when I’m gone. And… No one absolutely no one should have to suffer more because of me.

Seriously. Anyone and everyone in my immediate vicinity? Run the fuck away and get away from me.

I hate me

I hate everything.

My life is poisoned because of me. And there’s no cure from my poison. It’s spreading and sleeping and destroying my life in ways I don’t even know! But I know enough to know that it’s coming…

The above tarot spread? The projected forecast for the coming year.

Below? My spiritual path and trajectory for 2019…

And this next one is the path of my spirit. The past, present, and future. A devolution…

And as I write this…? Sigh… Fuck life..

Love is a chemical burn. It’s poison. It’s addictive. Its a drug. Fucking just… I fucking hate and lament. Existence. Existence and life… they are my Bane.. my Cain… I am able and I wish I was not Abel.