Welcome to my table: where we eat, write, talk and game

31 December 2018,6:40am; I where so many hats and masks everyday, it is sometimes difficult to remember who I am when I am not at the beck and call of the people I live to serve. When I am by myself, when all is quiet and I am quiet inside… That is quite uncomfortable because I don’t know much about anything without my emotional mecha-matron emoting and evoking such spirit… everything everywhere

This is why I say I need an adult. Not because I am infantile, incompetent nor immature. Really only because I am flawed like everyone else. I’m such trash at making shit work and happen for myself but I can say I think I’m pretty golden when it comes to serving others.

I am submissive. I give of myself completely, I love whole heartedly and without reservations. I observe.

I am domineering. I take over situations and conversations subconsciously, making everything anyone says or does about me. I obsess.

31 December 2018, 4:40pm; By looking at me, you’d never suspect that I was the ‘dreaded’ Mother Chaos (as further supported by my numerology distribution graph), which is utter bull-crap I was stricken from biblical canon. I mean, come on! What could I have possible done that was so bad I’m forever revered to as either a screech owl or a whore. Oh I get it, it’s because of all the whole ‘see a hole, fill it up all day long, you’ll perk right up’ shenanigans… isn’t it?

FB_IMG_1507282464232.jpgQueen K of the summer courts. Eris started a food fight which by throwing the first apple and it started a whole shit storm of a quarrel. I’m cute and pink! And yellow-ish… you know, because I’m half Asian.

Which again, just let’s me be not only the hand of Eris as I peg food into unsuspecting crowds, but I also am the fruit! Wow! I can toss myself into a crowd myself! (It’s okay, I’m petite, practically a gnome. Just don’t tell the elf about it.) I don’t mind being using as a projectile weapon.


My body shape is more banana, less apple, but that just adds to the slapstick. Peel me and glove slap your opponent into submission with my recently flayed hide.

The new year kicks off in under 7 hours and I haven’t even prepared my crazy spiral portal jumping festivititties mind trip. Honestly, I’m tripping out trying to figure out what the hell I was thinking?!

Okay smitches, let’s start part mode. Cue music!

St Vincent – Pills

Pills to wake, pills to sleep / Pills, pills, pills every day of the week / Pills to walk, pills to think / Pills, pills, pills for the family / I spent a year suspended in air / My mind on the gap, my head on the stairs / From healers to dealers and then back again / From guru to voodoo and voodoo to zen / Pills to wake, pills to sleep / Pills, pills, pills every day of the week / Pills to walk, pills to think / Pills, pills, pills for the family / Pills to grow, pills to shrink / Pills, pills, pills and a good stiff drink / Pills to fuck, pills to eat / Pills, pills, pills down the kitchen sink / I’m behind the wheel / I’m leavin’ your state / I can’t even swim in these waves I made / From the bath to the drain, and the plane to the stage / To the bed, to give head, to the money I made // I heard the tales, fortune and blame / Tigers and wolves defanged by fame / From the chains to the reins to the vein / To the brain, anyway there’s a day / And I’ll pay it in pain // Come all you villains, come one and all / Come all you killers, come join the war / Come all you wasted, wretched, and scorned / Come on and face it, come join the war / Come climb the rafters, come out to space / Come for the answers, throw them away / Come kiss me stupid, come kiss me sore / Come find me standin’ under the wall / Come all you killers, come out to play / Everyone you know will all go away / Come all you wasting, wretched, and scorned / Come watch me standin’ under the wall / Come all you children, come out to play / Everyone you love will all go away, hey, hey