22 December 2018, 7:20 am; I have far too many words. I was copying and pasting my “pages” (from the original stuff before this fairly recent incarnation..) and stuff into a single document. Over 8000 words of me talking about me, and why I should be trusted or make a decent sounding board. Because I am so fuelled by my own flatus, I need no other bullshit to inflate me. Too bad gasses such as smug will never be lighter than air, and thus my hot air balloon will never race around the damned world.
I wanted a brand new song that I had never heard to be the “tone setter” for the day. So I hit “Discover Weekly” and damn right, this song is perfect. Even the cover is most beautiful and speaks to me. *swoon and sway*
CETERUM – IMBUE ELAN VITAL
Lost in my own delusions the mud the walls this shit to plea / For a new beginning a new transition to see / Hesitant to cleanse my brow my fallen wasted life / Emit this overconsumption they patiently wait to kill me
As these stabbing beads of sweat press against the back of my neck / Hesitant to wipe them away my fear of shivering heat waves / Consuming me this warmth pushing up from within my gut / Don’t tell me how to breathe with your heal in my chest
If not for my hands to verify truth, my eyes might have been / Misguided by you; lead to believe you, oh this confusion / And that reminds me / Somehow I’ve found this will to stand before you / I’m mirrored by my inability to be / Embrace the fold
Luring me in; a seductive way to breathe / In this state of analgesia, designed specifically, suggesting a deterioration / Identify what’s taken over me / In its attempt to control me, I fail to detach from myself
This time, I’ve got to find a way out, now / This time, I’ve thrown it all away, I’m down now / This time, I can only watch and wait
7:36 am; I have come to decide that I will use the cult of kim’s Instagram as a means of sharing my screen capped playlists. I mean I love to share songs and I will definitely continue to do this, but when there are a shit ton of songs and signs everywhere, there are only so many I can capture and then transmute them into something relevant and sensible. Especially with all the eyes upon me and my apparent “cuckoo” crazy verbacious vertabims.
LOL I have no friends to help me now. LOL
Geez, I’m up to the 4th song on that list already. Seems like this playlist is grim but accedes to that fact. Yeah, I am totally able to do this (whatever the fuck it is?)
I stand tall and strong because I am… that’s it, I just am.
I stand upright, firm and unyielding against the wind and fire and rain and shrapnel that may be hurled (or not at all, because it is just metaphor) towards me and my kin in this here den. Did we forget I live on a pyramid of severed heads we so lovingly named it “Skullcrusher Mountain“? We totes did that the other week, right? We went under the sea, my hair got everywhere and I didn’t even tell you guys about my hair…
Regardless, I’m smiling again at my own tomfoolery and know very well the state of reality and actuality. And I choose to seek the nonsensical things that make me happy – mysticism. Because there’s nothing mysterious about it. There just a damned veil in the way. Well… Fuck it. I’ll go all Governess Maria on those drapes and turn them into dresses for us to wear as we sing AND CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN!
It’s probably what the Greeks and Romans did, you know, with their toga’s. Because they totally fucking grabbed that “veil” which obscures knowledge, and we clothe ourselves in stories and rhetoric. Language and Knowledge are the keys to power. And it’s not enough to have just a couple of keys on your chain, how about have a whole set of them? A whole alphabet. But there are also other keys and ways in too, you know?
Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But if you want to know more, maybe ask me. And maybe be ready to put a little coin in my purse for my troubles. 😉