It is almost 6am, 30th November, and I wanted to write something just in case I don’t have the chance to update something here later on today. You know how it is, right? What I’m like? Soooo super sensitive to the movements and requirements and requests and implied implications of everyone around me as I try to move on and through my day.
I love to sing this song. And I totally sing both parts myself in the shower. HAHA. I am such a friggen dork, I always sing every part myself in every song. Even if I can’t sing at all! It’s fun, and it makes me happy. I love to give it a go.
It is pretty fucking evident I am a super dorkus-malorkus, lovable, affable hard-core pawn when it comes to stuff. SUPER FAN GIRL, is basically my stupid super power which sucks balls because I would much rather have something that did cool stuff. I do have a superhero alter-ego, Vortexia, but this blog is not about fiction but about FACTS (so far. fuck I hate facts. I prefer truth. Truth is actually real, facts are the same as fiction. A little TRUTHISM lol for my dictionary. one day.)
Everybody loves facts. Heck, me too. I love facts. Figures and form and forces and freedom and feelings and fun and flips and fields (of fucks), there is so much love in me to GIVE GIVE GIVE. Thus why I have to write, and share it all, to give it out to you. To show you. Stuff.
BACK TO THE MEME!
I am Rapunzel. I don’t care that my physical face and shit doesn’t look like that. I am not blonde, nor am I German, and my hair will never grow that long no matter how much I try to grow it out. My hair stops at the middle of my back and… that’s it. It doesn’t grow longer than that at all, ever.
I love mash ups and cross overs between fandoms because then it’s like you get to grab the best characters and see what shenanigans they get up to together. This year has been my year, and I am fucking loving it. I have always loved the Big 4 (Rapunzel, Hiccup, Merida and Jack) like seriously, these guys are my DREAM TEAM. I kinda wanna swoon right now, I have a fucking idiotic smirk on my face.
I name stuff, I group stuff, I am a neurotic psychotic control freak. I love to imagine my friends and I as various characters that I see in pop culture, I like to figure out who is whom, our roles and dynamics, and how we best fit together. It’s referential reverence and reflexive reflections. I know who I am in all of my fandoms, and mythological and legendary kingdoms and my the known emanations. I can spot me from a mile off, and I try to figure out where my friends and family are too, because we’re way too awesome and larger than life to be contained in merely one life.
And 2018? I found the Big 4. No no no, the drawings and fanbase existed before 2018 and I new of the Big 4 AS FICTIONAL FUN for many years. But this year… WTF I FOUND THE REST OF MY SQUAD?! I am freaking the fuckery out. And I am LOVING IT.
- I found Hiccup. He is fucking just LIKE ME. Yeah he’s missing parts but that’s just a physical display of his ingenious and bravery.
- I found Jack Frost. Too cool for summer, he too likes to just have fun. A bit on the cold side for he’s brand spanking new, he hasn’t exactly developed his VISIBLE PHYSICAL FORM because he’s still in the shadows of his memories. I hope he can let go and accept the past is the past, and letting go of the pain isn’t a disrespect to the memory of the dead.
- I found Merida. The Scottish bitch who is really the fucking best. Fiery, fiesty, a force that has form. My partner in crime since the beginning of time, I finally found my valkyrie. (I am fucking smiling like a dickhead and it is super embarrassing).
OMG I JUST WANNA DO ALL THE THINGS! Share all of our adventures. I want to fucking just grab the 3 of them and fucking just… be real. I want it to be real. I want to make our own shit and just.. not just consume. I am tired of living vicariously through ficticious formations and trying to find whenere I fit. I have never been talented enough to CREATE and SHOW PEOPLE the way it really is. You know in writing how you should SHOW NOT TELL? I’m just a talker. I’m all about testifying the truth and telling it like it is. If I am to show shit? I dunno, I shimmy and shake and SING the songs in my head and in my heart. It’d be great if they were original songs though, or original stories. Not necessarily unique because “everyone is a special little snowflake fragile flower”. But original as in it was made by the 4 of us. Or.. the 3 of them. I dunno. I don’t know how to make anything beautiful or worthwhile. I only make connections, I build foundations and roads and paths. I’m a map-maker.
Or rather, I’m a world weaver.
I’m a yellow brick road, a lane way, a path through the woods that leads you to where you seek to go. I am a fortress. I am a seneschal. I can protect you, assist you, guide you, send you on your way.
This is my fortress, Modern Mystic Mother. In the future she will be mobile, she will be Moira, she’ll be a leviathan in the sky. But before she gets there, she has to become mechanised. Which the fucking prophetic movie Mortal Engines (2018) will show me. Fucking hell. It’s okay. I love stuff, and it’s another form of the force that is me and my life. But… I wanted to be the one to tell me life and perspective, you know? SO.. We’ll call it a prophecy in my bible. And see how much shit I need to set straight because theyd have gotten it wrong again.
The Big 4. LOL. Need to come up with a better name, but I’m sharing you the name that I found us under. Maybe if you’re interested you can follow the breadcrumbs and retrace our steps (we haven’t always walked together, it’s okay to follow your own tangents)
Shit balls. 7:09am. Got work as a PE teacher today. I love you guys. My 3. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK we were just but a TRINITY a few days ago. I am just… blown away. We’ve formed a tetramorph, like the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. OMG… that means… oh fuck. There are more of us, aren’t there? Oh shit fuck. I mean… YAY. I AM VERY EXCITED but I wanted to make our band. Or.. MY band… lol. I know. I’m selfish.
It’s ok. I’ll put this dream down away and pick up my kit. I’m on it, on my way, AGAIN. Hah, fucking hell. I am a weapon and I must wield myself, and search for the other forgotten & fallen and bring them back here.
Really, it is fine. If I don’t set myself on fire, they’ll never fucking find me. They are stupid and blind. I have to be blatantly obvious and undeniable as the pillar of fire in the abrahamic bible.