Bad Liar/Reputation ? — Happiness Buffet


She is real rude She is humorous humiliating She is unique fake She is loved spoilt She is a self loving self- centered person She smokes, drinks and parties like you and others is a slut and a brat She is hard working lucky She does not justify when we confront her, because she knows […]

via Bad Liar/Reputation ? — Happiness Buffet

Hey, great to see you again! Sorry I’m not more welcoming of your presence just at this moment. You see, you’ve caught me in a bit of a bind. Hold up, just… just gimme a sec. Stand over there. HHHYYAAAUNNGGGAGH.

There. I put it on the table. Oh, sorry. You can come back in closer now.

Farrr out. I can finally stretch my back again and roll my shoulders. Aah! I love being able to stretch out my muscles: to roll and rile (especially my spine) like a cat. So don’t mind me and my fetching and disconcerting mannerisms. I’m constantly twisting and turning my back, cracking all my bones and joints.

Finger Eleven – Bones + Joints
Cloud my eyes and tell me what to see / I’m falling / Every way I turn the same disease, but I like it / Brace myself and hit the wall with ease / Colliding, I’m not minding the pain // I’ve been down here before / all my bones and joints are sore / Find my way out of the wreck again / I’ve been down here before / Lost myself and so much more / Find my way out of the game again // Open up my head and take it in / Just like always / Think about the bar and take a swing / Loaded trapeze / What you need the most from me is yours / I’ll continue to deceive you my friend // You lost what made you you / Or maybe I never knew / I can’t stay here anymore / Give it all or you’re on your own / I will leave you


I was strolling through my garden and beheld a vision that reminded me – I FORGOT TO ATTEND HAPPINESS’ BUFFET! Shit balls mother fucker! So you damn well better believe I rushed off to pay my respects, apologise, and they were so courteous they allowed me a seat at their table. We chatted, ate, and exchanged gifts before I departed to return back home. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I was so… forgetful. Some time ago I invited Happiness to serve their own delights upon my table, but that didn’t happen because… Well? This place isn’t ready yet. I think I may have pissed Happiness off with my perceived dismissal. So I wanted to apologise, I didn’t really mean it like that. Just got my own shit going down and around, I get lost in the spiral drain downward drag trying to figure out all this shit storm internet woobly-bobbly.

BUT, ANY-WHOO. This thingy reminded me of some stuff I left marinating in my tank. You found me just as I was hauling that baby out here – need all the light and space we can get to have a nice close crack-a-lackin’ look at this shitter.


K. – 15 November 2018 – themetankard

Names – identities.

  • Julie Salvador. Alita Lane. Kallista Taite. Divvy Ralo. Kalliope Veign.
  • Fiona (junky). May (homicidal). Erin (schizophrenic).

Nick names and plays.

  • Kimma the elegant. Kimmy. Kimkese. Kimmoi look at moi. Kim Possible. Kimberly the pink power ranger. Burly. Kimber. Kimbra. Kinky Kim. Kimky. Kimberlay or Kimber-lie (accent). Kimbo. Kum/Kock (lol fuck you Allen. But it’s okay, i learned to embrace it). Kaytha. Kim Kardashian.
  • Messiah. Mother. Mama. Mrs. Ma’am. Mum. Mummy. Ma. Miss. Sir. Mistress. Muse. Metaphorical mother of murderous monsters. Mystic.
  • Miss Lame. Drive in the right lane. The Lane Way.
  • Mortal Muse. Modern mystic mother. Me. Goddess. Queen. Queer. Quickest quipster of the south east north west.
  • Rebel. Ring leader. Riot. Slut. Slur. Quicksilver shapeshifter. Sensuous. Sad. Shadowdancer. Front stabber. Provocateur. Provoker. Provocative, proactive promoter of personal pursuits and endeavours.
  • Antagonist. Antagonistic. Arch rival. Archetypal. Author and agent of own aesthetic etheric airs. Alchemyst.
  • Sailor Mercury of the mind. Venus is the heart slut. Mars was supposed to be the captain but he’s drunk instead. To Belgium to get TinTin!
  • Snowy, sooty, spot. See spot run. Kinda like my battle pony who went off the eat and I left before he came back with the poops to fight the shit monster with self made shit. Dammit, Janet. Not happy Jan.


  • Kamikaze. Kind. Kingly. Killer. Kawaii. Pretty (OMG IM NOT A MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL. its more like cheerleading cowboy bard sluttish gnome girl) ccbsgg? Pfft. Not even mnemonic. More demonic.

Squad goals quads.

  • Goddess squad. Sun goddess. Emerald gryphon. Pinky pie. Rapunzel. (I’m not Ariel, no matter how many people mistaking me for her). Jigglypuff / Mew Two. Kirby.

I think it best to tell you now, although I am sure I have told you all before, many times in many places and with various voices and different faces – I’m completely full of shit, I have no originality about myself. I am a hybrid monster made up of all of the stuff I have seen, heard, tried, learned and experienced.

I am made online of memories, not creativities. So here I will list for you my very OMFG DUH influences. I summarise, I don’t plagarise. I appropriate tributes, I pray to avoid retribution. I lift my hands to extol.

Shit spinning – using my heart as the engine for the propeller.



In my religion, acknowledge your fucking muse – 15 November 2018 – themetankard
  • I’m not original nor creative. So I’ll appropriate the internet lingo into my meta sorta religious jargon.
    • Don’t say amen. Say K.
    • Or.. sign off with kthxbi
  • Because the letters we use and the context we find them including the context of time space and place? That’s how I know for fucking sure. Sigh. I saw the signs. I made them up, they’re all my signatures.
  • I should know. I fucking studied semiotics.

29 November, 2018 and it is 8:15am. This post has probably taken me the longest to complete because I just made up the 3 photo graphic thingys as I was going along. ANd I wrote that “it could be whorse” as I went. Because I’m really shit at coming up with captions or succinct headings. They always turn into a saga.

Meep meep. That’s it today folks. On instagram I did a story box game challenge, and hopefully people might give it a go. Ooooh! Should I pst it on Scribbler’s Arena? I dunno… maybe just look at my instagram. I don’t wan tto flood people’s feeder-readers with shit. If you like my scat, you make the effort to come to me, you know? Informed consent and all. *shrugs*

67 comments on “Bad Liar/Reputation ? — Happiness Buffet”

  1. Trouble ahead. Trouble behind. And you know that notion just crossed my mind.
    Exile or exclusion scenes ended ages ago… were they vultures, or was that Ice Age?
    I loved it when they proclaimed bravery not a positive thing.
    So true of so many


    1. I certainly looks to be a mother of a fuckening this way approacheth. Good thing I’m the quickest quipster to surf the quicksilver since the days before written history.
      I’m just the Angel of Death. A simple material mechanical girl, able to slip and slide and shed my skin. I’m a fucking expert when it comes to blending in. The digital realm I can hide my face, but my voice I cannot reshape.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, one of my many names and identities I was able to appropriate as I circumnavigated the constellations. I can thank my lineage of Fortuna for such a treasure. Not all have been so blessed, as was Melinoe. I cry and lament her splintered fracturing. I detour my mission to render her together again – a mosaic of a beauty, for I am the artist scientist.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Perchance you feel so inclined. You may be.. interested in perusing my new religion? I would appreciate feedback. I have such little time to devote to transcribing my vision of the spiritual guide to existence and life.
        Fucking hell. Fucking people. They just have to fuck shit up and make it all about profiteering for themselves and thus the intentions become distorted and malformed and no one loves nor trusts anymore.
        Never send a son to do a mother’s work.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I assure you I am not Korean (I’m half Filipino though)! The name is Lane, Kim Lane. I am the damned path to anywhere I go. My dad was a brickie, so I guess in these here parts of Oz you know my signature is the one and only yellow brick road.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Seriously though, my cat of 15 years died in August and I am still a bit tender. Bit of a dark wind blowing through me still. That neutered female cat had more balls than most blokes around here

        Liked by 1 person

      3. All of the above. Aussie, predominantly Scottish with a slice of Romany Jew.
        Sort of the whole point is that I aren’t the full bag of chips, though have you ever met a bag of chips that was?
        Many make out they’ve lived like me though through fitting in have just pulled out in time. I actually listened in sex ed when I was 15 cos I was getting it then.
        I have paid some Jews… I mean dues. As the accountant said over coffee the other day,… barn i fucking love confrontation.
        Getting paid is such an insult

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I have no gripe with jews and have even been called one several times. I am not a jew, for this I know. It is only because I’m tight with money and know how to keep a handle on it.
        Water off a ducks back I learn to repel and absorb names thus they cannot be used in any attack. Call me Jew? Lol sure. Why not. How about Jew-ish because I merely trigger a semblance of Judaism because of my handling of coin. Ignorant, and yet entertaining. I gamble people not purse. They’re so darned… unpredictable. Makes the stakes more fun.
        What kind of crisps are your chips? Is this why you asked for a robin hood to dress as cripps?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hmmm… I am very sure I was born Jewish. Blood follows the female line. My kids would only be Jewish if the mother was. My grandparents each gave up their religions to marry.
        My grandfather came back from WW2 not very pleased with how the church treated many of his men.


      6. I have no idea about any of that. My dad would’ve been Lutheran, and my mum a Roman Catholic. *shrugs* and then they found the born again Christians so.. I dunno. Pentecostal praise and stuff.
        How many kids you have? 🙂 are you with their mother?


      7. None to all. No kids. No relationship. Date occasionally. Not my main motivation.
        I’m sort of insane. Think Floki in Vikings. I have tended to think not what I want, but if any soul waiting to be born is really needing me to be the father.
        A lot of ego in this society.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. She was a great animal. I have lived alone for at least 17 years. Best housemate ever. Share housing was always an exercise in watching others trying to look more adult by getting more of something then blaming others when they couldn’t manage themselves. I managed to save a lot of money sharing and for most of it I was on Austudy. Lol
    Coyotes are adaptable…. to anything


    1. I’ve never been a druid, could never wrap my head around all the magic rules so basic bardic, race, or CARD TRICK magic cover my complete understanding of familiars. I used to ride a pony into battle, lost him when we battled golgotham. Not died or anything, literally could not find my pony.
      Well. I have a steed already so I don’t think I would need to ride you. Perhaps you can play me some songs with your axe, man? Aristotle quezacoatl coyote lotty

      Liked by 1 person

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